Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Unexpected Understanding

The other night as I was laying in bed going to sleep, I heard my ancestors again.

"Ramone" they said.

"What is it?" I asked (and prayed to Creator for discernment).

They said,

"You've been hurting from being denied. You never had anyone to tell you that your desires were good; you always had to suppress them. You always had to deny yourself. You never had a choice."

Yes, this is true. I grew up in a legalistic church, and also with a desire to perform and please others because I felt rejection from parts of my family.

I asked Yowah why my ancestors were telling me this.

He said,

"Because they, too, were suppressed and denied; they, too, were not told that their desires were good. They, too, were never given a choice."

Wow. I hadn't expected that. Just like I was told to suppress my feelings, they were pressured by the non-native community, the government, and churches to suppress the expressions of their culture and the who they were.

"So what do I do now, Creator?" I asked.

"You are good and I want you to know it. (ᏩᏙ, ᏲᏩ!) Be free from suppression! I will help you as you learn to be who I made you to be. I will teach you self-control. I will satisfy your desires. Be at peace in Me, in who you are, and in your desires."

Wado, Edoda. Wado.


"Restored to Be Me"

I felt a longing
A desire to enjoy
I saw a beauty
A picture of joy

I longed to partake
I wanted to join in
But their voices said no
Their condemnation was swift

"You must not do that
For it is the way of sin
You must not do that
It is the devil within"

"This way will lead you down
To destruction and to hell
This way will be your doom
Obey the ways we tell"

I struggled and I struggled
To repress in my soul
The longings to take part
In things I did not know

In time You broke me free
Creator, to You I called
You showed me Your way
Was not as I was told

You set me on a path
My heart You opened up
You restored my heritage
And guided me with love

In freedom I began to walk
Oft fearing every step
Your hand protected my way
Your grace my each need met

The voices of my ancestors
The cry inside my blood
I heard anew now clear
I knew my heart was good

In Your love I walk on
Safe more than I see
I know for this I'm made
Your child in peace I'll be

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